Is the “Diotrephes Spirit” Wreaking Havoc on the 21st Century Church?

Is the “Diotrephes Spirit” Wreaking Havoc on the 21st Century Church?

If the "Jezebel spirit" is associated with subtle manipulation and moral compromise, the “Diotrephes spirit” represents something far more blunt and hierarchical: the desire for absolute, unchecked control in church leadership. This term draws its origin from a man named “Diotrephes" (III John 1:9-10).

Diotrephes was a local leader obsessed with his own supremacy, rejecting outside authority (even the apostles), spreading false accusations, and actively excommunicating those who disagreed with his reign. He is the epitome of someone who practices “lording over the church” (Matthew 20:25-28, I Peter 5:3). In the New Testament church, leaders should lead by their good example rather than by domineering authority.

The Allegation

In the contemporary church context, the “Diotrephes spirit” is often cited as the root cause of what is broadly called authoritarian or narcissistic leadership. Its havoc is evident when a single leader or small, unchallengeable group operates outside the bounds of accountability and biblical servant-hood. I want to highlight four key areas:

1. Love of Preeminence: Leaders who possess the “Diotrephes spirit” insist on being the final authority on all matters—the sole visionary, the sole voice of God, or the only one truly "spiritual." Decisions are made unilaterally, and challenge is viewed as disloyalty. Jesus exhorted His disciples not to refuse or rebuke those doing good work for the kingdom (Luke 9:49-55). The structure and work of the church is one of unity and not division (I Corinthians 1:10, 14:40). Christ alone is the Head of His church (Ephesians 1:22, Colossians 1:18). There’s only room for one.

2. Rejection of Accountability: Like Diotrephes, modern leaders under this influence reject external oversight (elders, trusted mentors, teachers) and often isolate their churches, branding outside critique as interference or jealousy. Leaders must be held accountable (Hebrews 13:7, James 3:1). I’ve seen many men survive what can be labeled as perceived “regime” change. New leaders come and go, but the so-called “Diotrephes” remains. Much like the auto-pilot in Wall-E he is more likely to die in office before relinquishing his power over the church.

3. Malicious Accusations: Any attempt to question public statements, finances, doctrine, or policy is met with public shaming, character assassination, and/or spiritual condemnation. Dissenters are swiftly removed from positions of influence or entirely excommunicated ("put out of the church") to maintain control. Hefty severance packages are offered to staff who will leave in silence. The process of church discipline or excommunication is supported by passages like Matthew 18:15–17 and I Corinthians 5. They outline a multi-step process involving private confrontation, involving witnesses, and finally, addressing the church. Ironically this process is for ALL members. Therefore, the man with the “Diotrephes spirit” is actually the one most in danger of  being subject to this process.

4. Leading in Isolation: Those who possess the “Diotrephes spirit” seek to control information and relationships. Anyone outside the circle of influence is deemed a possible threat. Rewards are given to those who “toe the line” and never question Diotrephes. New leaders are hand selected based on loyalty and the leadership team is kept small AMA easily manageable. Collaboration is viewed as a threat to the leader’s personal empire. Church meetings like those in Acts 11 & 15 would give a narcissist severe heartburn and anxiety. They rule from behind closed doors, from empty conference rooms and through lifeless memos, emails and announcements. Diotrephes has only one voice. No one can question it. No one can usurp it. The buck not only stops there… it was mounted as a trophy.

The Focus

The root of the problem is unholy ambition.

The damage caused by these controlling leadership dynamics is profound. It doesn't just damage the organizational structure; it damages people. Churches driven by preeminence produce burnout, spiritual abuse, and a culture of fear rather than grace. Church members are not heard or engaged. These leaders use fear to rule the flock.

The 21st-century church must be vigilant against the creep of ego in leadership. The biblical remedy for a "Diotrephes spirit" is a consistent commitment to the model of Christ: one who came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45). Leaders need to possess humility; not haughtiness.

The example of Diotrephes serves as a powerful (and cautionary) tale against the seductive pull of unholy ambition within the church. To avoid falling into his pattern of behavior—which prioritized personal preeminence, rejected legitimate spiritual authority, and led to the malicious exclusion of fellow believers—we must root our lives (especially our leadership), in radical humility and Christ-like servitude. We are called to be vigilant against the ego, insisting instead on transparency and deep accountability to others, recognizing that true spiritual authority is demonstrated through selfless service, not through coercive control or the accumulation of personal power. Our ultimate goal must be to ensure that Christ alone is preeminent, allowing power to be shared and decisions to be made collaboratively, fostering a culture of grace and unity rather than fear and isolation. 

We are called to leadership rooted in humility, transparency, and deep accountability to a plurality of trusted, godly people. If we fail to follow the biblical model we cease to be the Lord’s church. A truly healthy church is one where power is shared, burdens are carried together, and the only Preeminent One is Christ Himself.

You are loved.

Ray Reynolds, PhD

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